Originally posted on the Realms of Evil forums (Womb of Creation), November 9, 2001. The author did not name an edition; it is filed under D&D 3e by its rules. The author wrote it just after the forum's musical instruments of power contest ended, and asked for help setting its Ego score. Shown as written, with light spelling and formatting fixes only.

Years ago, in a run down shack lived a mage of immense power, but was not quite all there. His name was Gromeen Tyre. In his youth his family was wealthy enough to send him to the finest academy of magic in all the land. He was a strong follower of law, tradition, discipline, and study, and with this devotion focused towards his studies it was not surprising that he quickly surpassed even his greatest teachers in power. In fact he became the youngest mage to ever graduate from any university of magic. He became well respected in the magic community and began a career of unearthing ancient texts of magic long lost to current civilization.

While on one such expedition he let the scrutinous observation he was so well known for to falter and did not notice a strange glyph on the floor of the recently discovered ancient temple. As he stepped over it the floor began to glow iridescent green. Gromeen felt the sensation of pins and needles course through his body and a dizziness began to over take him. Suddenly he was surrounded everything and nothing. He could not find words appropriate enough to describe it. It was color gone crazy with life, shapes that his eyes could barely comprehend. Smells that began to dance over his skin as if in festival. The glyph had teleported him unknowingly into the plane of Pandemonium.

At first it was torturous to him. The world that lay before him went against every fiber of his being. He tried to use his magic to free him of this chaotic prison, but the magic he cast did not result in the effect he wanted. He first tried to teleport out, thinking he was merely lying in some prison that distorted reality, but it only conjured an imp with backwards feet, eyes in the place of its right arm, and a giant mouth in its gut that ended up devouring the little imp. He then tried plane shift, but that just created a violent storm of purple jello and rocks. After receiving a mild beating from the falling acorn-sized rocks he became desperate, and used his gate spell. This however but his guts out through his orifices and turned him inside out. Burning with pain and screaming in agony he thought he would die, but he didnt. in this plane his essence remained and eventually he willed himself back to normal. The environment still assaulted his senses and he knew was was going insane.

Gromeen eventually began to closely watch study the realm he now occupied and grew morbidly interested. His mind witnessed things that were unimaginable to mere mortals and quickly deteriorated, but he also began to learn from it. Suddenly he saw a power within the chaos and knew he had to unlock its secrets.

After one year of imprisonment he returned to the Prime Material Plane when the power of the glyph finally waned into nothing. Although the entire kingdom knew well what he looked like (his parents were well connected and after he went missing used those connections and a reward to whomever could find him) nobody would've recognized him. Pandemonium left his mind at the brink of madness and horribly scarred his body. When he returned, he became obsessed with unlocking the power of chaos magic. His parents finally learned of his fate and declared that it couldnt be their son. He became ostracized from the community.

Gromeen could care less though, fore what he pursued could never have been found there. So he traveled and eventually found an abandoned cabin in CreekWood Forest in perfect condition. Smiling to himself, he went to work, turning the cabin into a deplorable shack. Now ready to research, he began experimenting with magic on the local terrain and wildlife.

After years of inhumane and torturous experimentation he stumbled across a chaos beast. Upon seeing it he knew he had found the one thing he needed most and hurled himself at it. He landed on it and began a happy dance of sorts, but was quickly devoured by the thing. Minutes later the chaos beast exploded and the haggard figure of Gromeen could be seen standing in the space once occupied by the creature (He learned a few new tricks from his madness). Frantically, the crazy mage collected the pieces of the chaos beast he could find and sewed them with a magical thread formed from Gromeen's own body hair, created an air bladder. He then attached pipes made from the dried out dung of all the creatures of the forest (only Gromeen will ever know what purpose it served) and string string made from bird guts. The result was the strangest looking cross between a bag pipe and a guitar anyone would ever see. Then, singing jovially he began to glow and crackle with energy and dove into the bag pipe, becoming a part of it. With Gromeen's essence infused in the bag pipe, it seemed to move with a life of its own, distorting its shape in unbelievable ways and assaulting the senses of all who observe it. Those who view it usually dont have a clue as to what it actually is as it is constantly contorting its shape and distorting the senses. It can be played as a guitar or a bag pipe.

The Chaos Bladder has the following abilities

• Int 18
• Wis 2
• Cha 3
• Ego ?
• Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
• When played all those within hearing range have their senses rendered useless as the terrain transforms into chaos and find their very bodies transforming to the chaos magic released by its music. All in the area that hear it must make a Fortitude Save (DC 13) of be polymorphed randomly into any creature or object for one hour. They must also make a Will Save (DC 17) or be stricken with temporary insanity that lasts for one day. This also has a 20% chance + 20% for every time played per day to affect the one that plays it. If both saves are made, the character receives a -2 to all attack, damage, and ability rolls due to their difficulty in adjusting to the ever-changing chaotic environment around them(obviously the deaf are immune to the polymorph affect, but still can become insane because of the other senses they still have being assaulted by the new chaotic landscape).
• Can send one target that listens to the Chaos Bladder's music (chosen by the one that plays it) to Pandemonium for 5 rounds once per week. After they return they must make a Will Save (DC 30) or be stricken insane for one week.
• Insanity caused by the item cannot be healed by any magical means, including a wish spell
• While in a character's possession the Chaos Bladder rants and raves in incessant madness. If the possessor has a chaotic alignment they must make a dominance check each each they have the Chaos Bladder or lose one point of wisdom permanently. If not chaotic, then the character must make an additional dominance check once a week or move one degree closer to the nearest chaotic alignment, and also lose 2 points of wisdom permanently until they become chaotic, at which point they will only lose one point on an unsuccessful save. This continues until they reach a wisdom equal to the Chaos Bladder's, at which point the character is considered permanently insane from prolonged exposure to the ramblings of the Chaos Bladder.
• Can speak a little bit of all languages, but cant speak any one completely. This makes everything the Chaos Bladder says a garbled and unintelligible mix of every language.
• Gets a +10 to spot checks Vs. illusions
• Grants possessor a +2 Fortitude Save Vs. polymorph effects.

Notes

• The author left the item's Ego score open ("Ego ?") and asked for help with it; no value was settled in the thread.